My So Called Life (Love Not Included Series Book 3) by J.D. Hollyfield

Author:J.D. Hollyfield [Hollyfield, J.D.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B00XTN85PC
Published: 2015-05-17T04:00:00+00:00

WHILE IAN PUTS PIPPA down, I go and get ready for bed. I wash the sadness and smeared makeup off my face and change into a T-shirt of Ian’s that he left lying around. I snuggle into the guest bedroom that I’ve been calling home for the past almost two weeks.

I’ve already laid my head down when I hear the creaking of the door open and close. I lift my head to see Ian walking toward the bed.

“Is she down?” I ask as he makes it to my side of the bed and sits.

“She is. She’s a strong kid. She’ll get through this.” He lifts his hand to brush the side of my cheek. “How are you doing?’ he asks, trying to be gentle with me.

“I’m okay,” I reply. “I just feel foolish. I’m supposed to be the adult here and I can’t even keep it together long enough to try and help console a child.” Makes me feel defeated.

Ian climbs into bed and pushes me onto my back. “You did great with her. She listens to you. You both are doing as well as anyone could expect.”

“How well should I be doing? I’m a total failure as a sister and a complete nitwit as an aunt. I can’t even help Pippa understand her dreams.”

“Chris, stop. Stop worrying so much about this. You are both grieving. Just in your own ways. She’s four. She’s confused.”

“Yeah and I’m twenty-six and have been absent. I haven’t been here for Pippa. She doesn’t even know me. I don’t even know me.”

“Hey.” He fights my hands away from my weeping face. “Hey, stop it.”

“I was never here, Ian. I was never around to know. I didn’t know Amy was married. I didn’t know she had a daughter. I am sick with guilt. And hate. And I don’t know what to do with all that.” I stare at him with clouded eyes, urging him to tell me it’s okay. But I know he can’t.

“You just have to let the guilt go.”

“Well, I can’t. How do I live with this? With what’s happened. How do I go on knowing what a horrible person I am? How do I continue to live when two great people died?”

He climbs fully on top of me and threads his fingers into mine. “Christina Daniels, I swear if you say one more crazy thing I will . . . I will do something. Amy never thought badly of you. She didn’t hate you.”

“She didn’t?”

“She talked about you endlessly. How she missed you. How she wondered if you still liked pickle sandwiches. There would be times when we would all be hanging out doing something and she would just blurt out, ‘Chrissy would love this.’ Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Amy loved you. And she knew deep down you loved her. She never forgave herself for what happened. She knew why you left and she accepted it. She accepted it because she owed you that much. She knew you did what you had to do.

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